Top 10 "scientific explanations" for Fatima

From the always witty Creative Minority Report:

Top Ten Scientific Explanations of Miracle of Sun at Fatima

The Miracle of the Dancing Sun at Fatima which was seen by 70,000 people on October 13th, 1917 has been written about often. But many people continually attempt to explain away the vision of the sun dancing in the sky at a foretold time.

Avelino de Almeida, wrote articles for O Século, Portugal's most widely-circulated and influential newspaper, which was pro-government and anti-clerical at the time. Almeida's previous articles had been to satirize the previously reported events at Fatima but here's what he wrote that day:

"Before the astonished eyes of the crowd, whose aspect was biblical as they stood bare-headed, eagerly searching the sky, the sun trembled, made sudden incredible movements outside all cosmic laws — the sun 'danced' according to the typical expression of the people."

But secularists have amassed an enormous amount of explanations as to why we should not believe our own eyes. Here are the astounding reasons they've amassed so we should believe nothing at all special happened in Portugal that great day.

1. Stratospheric Dust. Steuart Campbell, writing for the 1989 edition of Journal of Meteorology, postulated that a cloud of stratospheric dust changed the appearance of the sun on 13 October, making it easy to look at, and causing it to appear yellow, blue, and violet and to spin. In support of his hypothesis, Mr. Campbell reports that a blue and reddened sun was reported in China as documented in 1983.

2. ESP! (Always my favorite) Author Lisa Schwebel claims that the event was a supernatural (but non-miraculous) extra-sensory phenomenon. Schwebel notes that the solar phenomenon reported at Fátima is not unique - there have been several reported cases of high pitched religious gatherings culminating in the sudden and mysterious appearance of lights in the sky.

3. Mock-Sun. Didn't even know this existed but it's worth a listen. Joe Nickell, a skeptic and investigator of paranormal phenomena, claims that the position of the phenomenon, as described by the various witnesses, is at the wrong azimuth and elevation to have been the sun. He suggests the cause may have been a sundog. Sometimes referred to as a parhelion or "mock sun", a sundog is an atmospheric optical phenomenon associated with the reflection/refraction of sunlight by the numerous small ice crystals that make up cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. A sundog is, however, a stationary phenomenon, and would not explain the reported appearance of the "dancing sun". So Nickell further suggests an explanation for this phenomena may lie in temporary retinal distortion, caused by staring at the intense light and/or the effect of darting the eyes to and fro so as to avoid completely fixed gazing (thus combining image, afterimage and movement). So the people shook their heads and though a mock-sun was dancing. All 70,000? Prety ridiculous, huh?

4. Dust cloud! Paul Simons, in an article entitled "Weather Secrets of Miracle at Fatima", states that he believes it possible that some of the optical effects at Fatima may have been caused by a cloud of dust from the Sahara.

5. Ye ol mass hallucination theory. Author Kevin McClure claims that the crowd at Cova da Iria may have been expecting to see signs in the sun, as similar phenomena had been reported in the weeks leading up to the miracle. On this basis he believes that the crowd saw what it wanted to see. (Yeah because that happens all the time.) But McClure's account fails to explain similar reports of people miles away, who by their own testimony were not even thinking of the event at the time, or the sudden drying of people's sodden, rain-soaked clothes.

6. UFO! It has been argued that the Fatima phenomenon was an alien craft. Of course, either that craft happened to come on the day that the three little children said a miracle would occur. Or the apparitions were all the works of little green men. This all sounds a lot more real than the Church's explanation.

7. Solar Storm. A gigantic coronal mass ejection (CME) occurred. Every eleven years our sun goes through a period of solar storms and these storms have been with us for
centuries of recorded history. Solar flares emit high-speed particles that
cause the Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis. Well that explains it all right there. Because we all know the Northern Lights look exactly like the Sun dancing. Or not.

8. Peer pressure. Among a uniform people sharing a particular religious belief, it is very easy for individuals to feel social pressure to conform to whatever is seen as a part of "how things should be", for "true believers". 70,000 people. That's pretty strong peer pressure especially for the people who saw it 20 miles away.

9. Not everyone saw it. Astronomers noticed no dancing in the sky from all over the world. The dancing sun was a regional event thus disproving it. A quick question would be the fact that it was a regional event should prove that something out of the ordinary happened. If it happened worldwide it would be written off as simply an astronomical event because the whole world saw it.

10. An Eclipse. These fellas don't mind contradicting themselves. This would be a very very regional eclipse. Wouldn't astronomers have noted the eclipse?

Bonus Reason:
11. Evolution. This is sadly from Institute of Physics, Catholic Univeristy of Louvain. Evolution has provided us with the infamous “zoom and loom effect”. It tends to appear when the brain is confronted with the two-dimensional retinal image of an object thatis situated at some unknown distance. The brain will then consider the possibility that it could come closer, by performing an illusory mental zoom, where the apparent size of the object isprogressively increased. This results from the fact that evolution preserved the tendency to take into account the possibility of a dangerous approach: a rapid evasive action could bebeneficial for survival. When the “idea” of an approach does not lead to any real danger, theperceived object returns to its normal place. Thus the dancing sun. Amazing. 70,000 people thought the Sun was a predator coming to eat them. When they realized the Sun had no teeth they "zoomed and loomed" it back to where it belonged. That might just be my favorite one.

So after listening to these level-headed scientists(?) explain away Fatima hasn't it convinced you to join the Richard Dawkins fan club? Me neither.

Kudos to Creative Minority Report for a good laugh.

Macs vs. Pc

I admit, Macs and I have never had a friendly relationship.

Oh, we've tried working it out. I've spent hours in their company, hoping that perhaps continued exposure would lead to greater understanding.

It's failed. My mind just does not think in AppleSpeak.

But I think I've figured out why:

I'm Catholic, and Macs are Protestant.

Sure, that flies in the face of what Umberto Eco wrote years ago. However, I think I can make a pretty compelling argument, without even going into the old the-operating-system-makes-just-about-as-much-sense-to-me-as-Calvinism argument:

1. PCs - particularly those equipped with Vista - require constant examination of conscience. No once clicked, always clicked here!

2. Macs are better for graphics and video production. The average Catholic would be horrified if their pastor began using Powerpoint and illustrating his homily with short video clips. Such technology is normal for many in the evangelical church culture. I rest my case.

3. Macs tend to be one step ahead of Microsoft. As Stuff Catholics Like pointed out, Catholics prefer to be one step behind.

4. The right-click button. Until 2005, Macs only had one button. But Apple has realized the error of its ways - kind of makes me think of the emerging church, a newer Protestant movement that recognizes the value of icons, incense and contemplative spirituality - things that many Protestants eschew, or even fear.

5. Macs are cool - and they're good at being cool. The Catholic Church is a lot of things - as the Ironic Catholic put it in her top 100 Reasons to be Catholic:

" 7. We're not emergent: we're eternal.
6. We're not progressive: we're prophetic.
5. We're not old-fashioned: we're rooted.
4. We're not liberal: we love our neighbor.
3. We're not conservative: we look to God alone.
2. We're not entertained: we've received the peace of Christ.
1. ...and we're just getting started, baby."

But cool we ain't. Just look at the state of our music. We don't sing anything in church that you'd hear on the radio over the weekend. Compare that to the worship bands popular in megachurches today.

I'm just sayin'.

6. Mac owners tend to be very, very proud of the fact of their Macbooks, and maybe just the teeniest bit condescending towards those of us who can't understand why. Although that could hurt my argument, since Flannery O'Connor did write that "Smugness is the Great Catholic Sin." Mea culpa.

Perhaps I should just point out that the state of Catholic-Protestant relations in my neck of the woods seems to indicate that smugness, condescension and bewilderment are issues nearly as big as the role of the Blessed Virgin Mary. And that's the fault of both groups.
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I thought about going for 7, since that is a holy number after all. But 6 - the number of imperfection, of fallen man - seems more appropriate, since the division between Catholics and Protestants is a scandal, after all, and way more annoying than those Mac key commands.

Which usually make me want to scream at least six times a day.

Pope Benedict XVI's top 5 comments to Obama

In light of the upcoming meeting between President Barack Obama and Pope Benedict XVI - and the fact that millions of faithful Catholics would endure a few extra days of purgatory just to be flies on the wall - here are the top five things that we can hope that the Pope will say to Obama:

5. I appreciate the stole, but if you really wanted to give me a gift, the recognition that abortion is intrinsically evil would be on the top of my wish list.

4.The question of abortion is not above my pay grade. And as president, it's not above yours any longer, Mr. President.

3. Do you understand the principles of formal and material cooperation with evil? Because we have 15 minutes and I could enlighten you, my son.

2. Hell is real even if you don't believe in it.

And finally, (thanks to the Curt Jester *):

1. "The Power of Christ compels you" with some splashed Holy Water...